"If God has called you to really be like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility...and put such demands of obedience, that He will not allow you to follow other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.
Other Christians may push themselves, pull wires, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.
Others will be allowed to succeed, or having a legacy left to them or in having luxuries, but God will choose to supply you daily because He wants you to have something far better than gold...and that is a helpless dependence on Him.
The Lord may let others be honored and yet keep you hid away in obscurity...because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit which can only be produced in the shade.
God will let others be great but keep you small. He will let others get the credit for the work you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes. The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch on you and rebuke you for little words and feelings which other Christians never seem distressed over.
So make up your mind that God is infinitely sovereign and has the right to do as He pleases with His own. And He will not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle you. God will take you at your word, and if you absolutely sell yourself to be HIs slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love.
Settle it forever, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit. Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven."