no time for cornbread

Or time for anything much at all really.

Owen is ten weeks old and while things have certainly gotten easier, 

I'm still learning how to manage my time well.

You see, I've been calling Owen 'king of the cat nap' 

because its rare for him to take a nap more than 20 minutes. 

This makes things a little tricky.

Dinners need to be made.

Dishes need to be done.

Diapers need to be washed.

And those aren't even the essentials, 

I need to eat (nursing really depletes your caloric intake!)

I really should shower.

And this momma needs to sleep since 

(though he's getting better) 

Owen also wakes up 3-4 times a night. 

Now before you think I'm complaining, know this, I wouldn't trade this job for the world! I'd take the sleep deprivation, the messy house, the dirty diapers, the days without showers, the ever growing piles of laundry, the growling belly because I haven't had time to eat over anything you could offer me. 

Why?

Because this is my lot.

This is the tiny human God has given me to lay my life down for. And it is only by God's grace I am even able to do so!

I like to put tasty meals on the table for Jonny.

If there's one thing I despise it's a kitchen counter cluttered with stacks of dirty dishes.

And I don't know anyone who can say that it makes their day wiping the poo off a baby bum, no matter how adorable said baby bum is!

A rumbling tummy never feels good.

Without a shower, I just feel gross. 

And let's face it, I don't look too good or smell too pretty either. 

Then there's some really shallow things my flesh desires, like...

Wanting to get a tan because its summer.

Wanting to workout because, well, I just had a baby and we're going to the beach next month.

New clothes that cover up this post-preggo body a little better.

Just being honest here!

But God has given me much grace! 

I don't know exactly when, but several years ago God saved me. 

What does it mean to be saved? 

By saying 'saved' it must mean I was headed in a dangerous direction.

 I lived to glorify myself, to fulfill my desires. 

I did so and saw no problem with it. 

BUT God, intervened! 

He showed me the sinfulness of my selfish pursuits and gave me truly amazing grace! 

This grace has given me the power to live for the glory of Him who saved me!

So are you wondering what the connection is between my

'no time for dirty dishes, dinner, laundry and showering' rant is? 

I am freed from living for myself because Christ died!

And as for those really shallow desires of my flesh,
I have been given the word of God to fight the temptation to long for the things of this world,
and to fix my eyes on Jesus!

I know, you thought this post was about cornbread and now you're like "Umm, what?"

I've just being sitting here in a rocking chair 

feeding and rocking this precious baby boy since 5:13, it is now 7:25 

(my backside is starting to go numb). 

I sat down thinking about the cornbread that would really be nice to go with our dinner 

and the dishes that need to go in the dishwasher

 but God has given me much grace
and I am able to reframe my thinking.

When Owen takes over an hour to feed, then refuses to nap in his crib

 I have the means to count it all joy! 

I have this opportunity to lay down my life!

This is my lot and I am thankful.

the second year.

Monday was our 2nd wedding anniversary.

Year two was different than year one, but every bit as wonderful.

Here's a recap.

 We went to Tulsa for a beautiful wedding, 

found out we were expecting a baby, 

went to Northern Ireland for two weeks for another beautiful wedding, 

went camping at an awesome swimming hole, 

went to the lake with family for Labor day, 

told our family we were having a baby,

found out that our little baby was a boy, 

went to the Great Smokey Mountains, 

put our Christmas tree up on November 6th, 

I turned 24,

traveled to our Missouri/Arkansas for Thanksgiving, 

traveled to Missouri/Arkansas for Christmas, 

had two sweet baby showers, 

attended birthing classes, 

documented a BIG baby belly, 

made lots of smoothies, 

went for plenty of walks, 

Jonny started a new job,

Janaye stopped working,

we brought the sweet baby boy into the world on March 25, 

moved into a new apartment, 

Jonny turned 26.

Monday we went for a long walk and took some family pictures. 

In the evening Jonny and I went on a date, without Owen! 

It was our first time to be alone together in the eight weeks since Owen was born. 

It felt so weird to not have my baby in my arms or even in the same room. 

It was just what we needed, a yummy meal of sushi and then a slice of cheesecake.

The best part, of course was my date!

I felt like it was the summer of 2009 and Jonny and I were so young and so so in love!

Of course, we still are both of those things, but it was like it was happening all over again.

I have loved being married to this man.

Click here to read the post from our first anniversary. 

one month outtakes: the cuteness never ends

So I realize I still haven't posted Owen's birth story and he is over a month old.

36 hours okay! That's a looooong story to write.

Between nursing and putting our new apartment together, 

the story just hasn't made the cut.

But I will get to it.

I bought a baby book for him today.

Can't wait to start filling it out with Jonny.

I was taking weekly pictures of Owen, 

but now that he's over a month, I'll just take monthly pictures.

I used this one for his one month picture

But the outtakes were pretty adorable as well, see for yourself!

 Here we see grumpy Owen.

 Then contented Owen.

Then, "Oops I fell over, so I'll do a belly laugh" Owen

He is a precious, so so precious.

a sweet baby boy

On Monday, March 25th we welcomed the sweetest little boy into our arms.

Owen Alan Atkinson.

Born at 2:31pm, 

weighing 11.1oz

and 21in long.

We love every bit of him.

He is already two weeks old today. 

It's crazy how the last two weeks I was pregnant seemed to never end, 

and now here we are-two weeks with our little boy, 

they've gone by so quickly!

We are absolutely in love.

I'm working on writing the long story of how we met Owen.

Labor was 36 hours total- the most intense experience of my life, 

and I'm sure Jonny's too.

But I would do it a thousand times over if I had to.

He is such a joy.

due dates, schmoo dates

So Tuesday was the little man's estimated due date.

Good thing it's exactly that...

an estimate

I mean really? Who thinks they can use the same formula and apply it to every single pregnant woman, 

and it turn out to be true?

Some guy did.

I have issues with that guy.

Just kidding.

We've been taught in our Bradley Method classes that the average pregnancy for 

a first time mother is 41 weeks and 1 day.

That would bring us to this coming Wednesday, March 27th.

I had a Dr. appointment on Tuesday where I did a Non-Stress Test, 

really for peace of mind, 

because I hadn't noticed the little man moving as much anymore 

and they always say to let them know if there is a decrease in movement.

However, he passed with flying colors and the tech said he is "one happy baby!"

He really must be happy in there, 

so happy he doesn't want to come out!

We scheduled an appointment for Monday, where we will have to do another Non-Stress Test and an ultrasound. 

It's just standard procedure for those "overdue" 

to make sure the baby is still sustained by the amount of room/fluid he has in the womb.

Also, standard procedure is to induce at 42 weeks.

We are most definitely wanting to avoid chemical induction, 

so please pray with us that this little guy will come on his own, and soon!

Even before the Monday appointment would be great!

In the meantime, 

I will keep walking and reading.

I need a hobby.

My mother-in-law taught me to knit at Christmas, but I've already forgotten! 

I was so sure I'd have a baby to tend to by now,

but the Lord has other plans!

"Any day now."

If I had a dollar for every time I was told that in the past few weeks!

People everywhere say it to me.

At work, at the grocery store, getting gas, on a date.

My favorite comment has got to be, 

"Whoa, that is a super pregnant lady!"

Yes, thanks for noticing.

39 weeks pregnant today and all we can do is wait.

It's nothing we have control over.

We wait, 

and wait

and wait.

Friday is my last day of work.

Part of me wants to make it until then and have a few days 

of rest and to get the house ready for his arrival.

But part of me just wants labor to come.

This pregnancy journey has been incredible. 

We praise God that our little guy has been healthy all along the way

(and me too)!

It's crazy to think I've been doing this since June.

And now we're so close to our prize.

Our bags are packed.

The car seat is installed.

Any day now we will finally meet him and our world will be changed forever.

On Saturday Jonny and I had just the loveliest day.

We planned to go for a walk in the park and then clean out the car and install the carseat.

But we ended up walking along a nearby street, 

window shopping and rummaging through flea markets

(my favorite).

Then we went out for what will most likely be our last dinner date as

just the two of us.

Last night we were reading from Richard Baxter's 'Christian Directory' and

he was imploring that husbands and wives should love and cherish

the company of one another over all other company.

It is a great blessing that we can say this rings true in our marriage!

I'm not sure what ends the newlywed stage of life... 

Your first anniversary? Your first child?

If it's either of those we're soon to be disqualified.

But we know that God has not called us to live for ourselves, 

but to give our lives for others. 

For each other.

For our children (however many we are given).

And for the world, 

that we might show the great love with which we have been loved by God.

the waiting game

We're so close it's almost unbearable!

It's like looking forward to something you've heard is amazing

but never actually experienced for yourself.

So while you're excited, 

there's this huge unknown to it.

I remember the same feeling in the weeks leading up to our wedding.

Knowing that marriage was going to be a wonderfully good gift, 

and all the while knowing nothing about being married at all.

And on that note, 

I'm realizing that with each day we are one day closer to meeting the little man, 

but we are also one day closer to no longer being only the two of us.

So I want to cherish all the moments Jonny and I are given together as we finish this waiting game.